No Ordinary Princess

...anything but ordinary...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

My Grandson, the Old Man

I downloaded videos of my grandboy tonight. He is such a little beauty. Since my sister died, I've had an keen sense of the real possibility of tragedy in life. I've worried. I used to look at my son, my very special boy, and cringe that God might take that brown-eyed wonder from me as S/He did Michael's Aunt Lisa. Funny, but the boy went off to college and I eventually stopped worrying so much. By the time he married Jen, I'd pretty much stopped worrying about him altogether.

Now, I've got a new worry. His name is Brendan and he's just over 7 weeks old.

I look at him like a nurse now, like a clinician. Is his head too large? Should his eyes roll around as much as they do? Is everything okay? The real nurse inside me knows he looks fine, that the grandmother nurse is simply overreacting. The real nurse in me would like to bitch-slap the grandmother nurse in me across the room. It's funny how you cease being a professional when it's your child or kin.

I was glad I was able to bring my skills to bear at my father's bedside while he was in hospice but it was his daughter who cleaned his bottom and made him comfortable. His daughter just happened to know a whole lot about pathophysiology and comfort measures. Having that knowledge and using it to minister to my dad was important to me. It was my gift to Dad.

Now, I look into the deep brown eyes of my grandchild and worry that he worries too much. His brow is furrowed. At 7 weeks, he is careworn. His eyes seem to hold a lifetime of concern. He seems an old man at two months of age. Why do you worry so much, Little One? You have nothing to fear. Grandma can do all the worrying that needs doing for us both.

P. S. I did not do those sorts of things with Michael's face when he was a baby. Well, maybe the mouth thing because it's just so damned cute, but not the nose and cheeks! Bad Daddy!

; )

Technorati tags: life / middle-age / self-awareness


Blogger Yvonne said...

Awww hiccups.... he's so damn cute! I have nothing to say about Michael, I mooshed my kids faces around alot too. But did you notice the dead intent stare at the region Mummy's boobs are located in? I'm still laughing at flipping the bird to Daddy :)

He's awesome and I want him! And you are so lucky to have them all to bring joy into your life. Have a good, well deserved rest. If you go to the beach, breathe really deep and think of me. I havent been to the beach in a long time.

I wonder if the calm, sight, sound, smell of the beach is just a Pisces thing? Or do we just understand it better than most?

Love Yvonne

1/6/06 7:20 AM  
Blogger Sandra said...

I LOVE this video. You captured his innocence, his awareness, his vulnerability so perfectly. He is beautiful. It was moving and funny both at the same time. I was laughing out loud, will have to watch it again!
Don't we all moosh our babies faces?

1/6/06 10:35 AM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Hi Von. Ain't he cute? I am so lucky to have them all in my life and I know it! I think I might go to the beach but this afternoon, so I can take the dog. She loves to run on the beach. I don't know why I love the beach so much...the peacefulness, the smells, the happy people? Does it matter?

1/6/06 12:31 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Hi Sandra...I didn't capture anything. That was my son, the same one who's pushing my grandboy's nose out of joint! I know we all do silly things with our baby's faces but Brendan was so comfy and intent on his Mommy's face when Daddy's big, old hand comes in and starts smooshing up his nose. Poor lil' blighter. All he wanted to do was stare at his mom adoringly.

It is precious and so are they and I am very lucky! Life is good!

1/6/06 12:35 PM  

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