No Ordinary Princess

...anything but ordinary...

Friday, May 19, 2006

The Long, Dark Nights of the Soul

I've had trouble sleeping since last fall. I've been taking Lunesta since late December, after Dad was diagnosed with mesothelioma. Thank God for a long-term prescription sleep medication. The last time I had a bout of insomnia, three or four years ago, I was taking Benadryl every time I needed to sleep. I was working night shift then (7PM-7AM's) so that meant a lot of Benadryl. My family physician told me Benadryl (diphenhydramine), taken regularly for longer than a couple of weeks, actually interferes with the Delta cycle of sleep thus resulting in less effective sleep. I tried Ambien but it didn't keep me asleep long enough. Lunesta does.

But it feels like it's time to let Lunesta go. I've cut back to one tablet (the dosage for me is two or three tablets)
. Last night, I didn't take any though I did take Benadryl for the side effects of a steroid injection I got a couple weeks ago.

My therapist told me I shouldn't fight it and just stay up all night if that's how it works out. That's how it worked out last night. I seem very receptive to "processing" in the wee hours. Maybe it's the stillness. Perhaps it's the nightingale that's singing in our woods. Maybe it's simply because I can't garden in the dark. Last night, I decided to take my therapist's advice. That's why it's 8 AM and I'm still up, typing away. This is a wonderful outlet.

I stayed up, typing and sufring away until the nightingale was drowned out or chased to bed by the morning birds and the sleepiness threatened to overtake me. Then I walked Sadie at 6 AM, following a thundershower (the earth smelled wonderful!). Then I showered. Now I'm waiting for my hair to dry so I don't wake up with it sticking up in all sorts of odd directions.

It's nearly dry and I'm exhausted so it's time for me to go. Now I can lay me down to rest clean, sated, conscience clear, content and in peace, my soul unfettered.

Technorati tags: life / middle-age / self-awareness / spirituality


Blogger Pat Kirby said...

You have nightingales? How cool is that? I've never heard one, but the idea seems so cool.

My husband, who gets work up over the chirping crickets, wouldn't think much of a bird that sings at night, though.

19/5/06 4:42 PM  
Blogger Cheryl said...

Nightingales are very cool. They're the only song bird I know of that sings at night. It's eerie to be walking your dog at 3 AM and hear birdsong in the utter stillness. It's a sound your mind think you should only hear during the day.

I remember when I first heard it last summer on late-night dog walks a couple of blocks away I thought, "If I owned the house next to that bird's nest, I'd probably be considering aviacide!" Nice from a distance, not right outside the window.

My condolences to your husband, btw. It's kind of hard to get away from crickets.

19/5/06 5:43 PM  

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